Lighter Side: Lawyer burns off her own fingerprints to escape justice

by |
A woman who no longer has any fingertips after burning them off to escape being identified has been unmasked as a lawyer on the run from the law.

Ann Miller was first arrested in Ohio, United States, when she was sprung attempting to use a fake birth certificate to obtain a state ID, Roll on Friday reports.

However, back at the police station where she was charged with the offence, the officer was shocked to find Miller had no fingerprints.

“There was no ridge detail whatsoever. Just smooth like a baby’s butt. They’re never going to come back,” county sheriff Samuel Crish was quoted as saying.

Miller steadfastly refused to explain who she was, simply insisting that she’d been the victim of human trafficking.

When police raided the residence of an elderly local woman where the runaway had been staying, they found that she’d researched how to remove fingerprints on the internet.

They became gravely concerned about what it was exactly that Miller was running from.

Her identity remained a mystery for an entire month, until she was fingered by a tipster, who divulged that Miller was in fact a disbarred attorney from Virginia.

She’d been removed from the roll after client funds went missing. She was also wanted in Colorado for burglary and trespass.

It wasn’t the fingerprint bandit’s first time in the media either: In 2009 she was charged with attacking a paralegal who was in a relationship with her ex-boyfriend, another attorney.

When questioned by reporters after Miller’s most recent stunt, the ex said she began to file increasingly bizarre lawsuits against him, including one where “she claimed I injured her pet bobcat in Alaska”.

Australasian Lawyer forum is the place for positive industry interaction and welcomes your professional and informed opinion.

Name (required)
Comment (required)
By submitting, I agree to the Terms & Conditions